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1. The very first thing to ask yourself is: Is the relationship worth saving? Almost any relationship can be saved if both parties are willing to put forth the effort and hard work it takes. If one person has already decided it is hopeless then it probably is.

2. Too many couples stay together because it is easier or because children are involved. That is really not a good reason to keep a relationship together. Each of you must take responsibility for your part in the relationship and make a commitment to fixing what is wrong.

3. Figure out where your problems are. If a couple has had problems for a long time, it can become extremely difficult to figure out where it all began and what to fix. They then get hung up on trying to fix the symptoms of the problem rather than the problem itself. Very often an affair is what triggers a serious rift in a relationship. In most cases an affair is only a symptom of the real problem which is a lack of closeness and intimacy in the relationship. Look at it this way. If you were both happy with each other and having your emotional needs met, you wouldn’t have been vulnerable to a relationship with another person. Dealing with the core issue is how to save a relationship.

4. When you begin to identify the basic issues that you need to deal with you can save the relationship by sharing your thoughts with each other. Tell your partner how you feel and really listen to them when they tell you how they feel. To signal your intentions, hold your partner’s hand while you are talking. This tells them that you want a connection even though you are angry or hurt.

5. After you have talked about the problems that are causing your relationship problems, come up with a plan of action to fix them. Working together on a concrete plan can help you both work together on the process. For example, if you have lost touch with one another because you have been too busy doing other things, plan a routine date night. Take turns planning the date. If you have not spent enough time talking to each other, make a commitment to spending ½ hour every day before you go to sleep just talking.

6. Relationships take effort. Learning how to save a relationship takes time. It’s not easy to fix problems in a relationship but with time and patience and probably tears, it can be done. Above all be patient. Apologize quickly and avoid blaming the other person.

If you have decided that your relationship is in fact worth saving, than follow the steps outlined above on how to save a relationship and you may just accomplish your goal.

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