How to Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps
At some point most of us go through a relationship break up. Unlike most things we do in life that become straightforward the more we do them, breakups simply don’t work this way. However many situations like this we have gone through in the past, breaking up never seems to get any easier.
The period after a breakup is the time when most want to learn how to get your ex back and sometimes even if the relationship was awful and clearly had no chance of improving this is still the case. However, if physical or mental abuse was ever a part of the relationship, you should try to accept that this is not healthy and count your blessings that the situation has come to an end.
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Putting aside violent or turbulent relationships most liaisons follow a pattern of predictability. We all know the wonderful feeling when we have just met someone new and everything is at its best and neither person can do wrong in the other’s eyes.
Not long after this period you begin to adjust to each other and start to settle down. However, when the novelty of the relationship wears off and little things about the other person start to bother you, the status of the relationship changes quite considerably.
We have all heard the saying “Familiarity breeds contempt” and never have truer words been spoken as far as relationships are concerned. When couples become familiar and comfortable with each other the strength of their relationship is put to the test and this is often when the troubles begin.
Maintaining a good relationship takes a lot of effort from both sides and unfortunately, instead of putting in that effort one of the people involved may prefer to opt out of the relationship for good.
How would you feel about this is if the other person upped and went telling you in no uncertain terms that it’s all over between you? Do you think you could get them back and encourage them to try to save the relationship? If so, here are a few things to help you go about it.
1. Apologize if Warranted
This is the best way of attempting to get your ex back and it should be the first thing you do. However, you need to be saying you are sorry for the right reasons, not just because you think it will make things easier to take the blame for whatever has happened.
It’s ironic but saying sorry often leads to yet another fight so avoid being drawn into an argument when you are making your apology. Don’t get all defensive if your ex brings up another issue when you are saying sorry. Keep your emotions and your ego under control and stay as calm as possible.
2. Talk Things Over
If your ex is in agreement make plans to sit down and talk about things and by this we mean really talk. Don’t plead and beg or try to make your ex do anything they don’t want to do. If you can get them to talk with you, your feelings will need to be kept in check throughout the meeting.
You don’t want another fight on your hands so make it clear from the outset that laying the blame for what has happened previously will not be a part of the discussion. By sticking strictly to the issues causing the breakup in an objective manner, better results are the likely outcome.
If you both feel you need the professional help of a therapist, then go ahead and take up their services.
3. Give Each Other Some Space
This may appear to be a strange piece of advice when you want to get back with your ex but nonetheless it is both important and essential. Each of you need space even if you don’t think you do and we all know that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Time out will give you both the opportunity to calm down and you never know you might actually miss each other!
4. Show Them You Have Self Respect
If you spend all of your time waiting for them to phone or call around to see you, you are going to appear to be needy and desperate. This is not a good impression to give. Show them you have self respect; get out and about with friends. You always did like the movies and live concerts so why not enjoy them now?
In fact, things are likely to work in your favor if you are not there when they call you. It will make them think for a minute and the chances are they will be really curious about where you are and who you are spending your time with.
Let the missed call be directed to your voice mail and then, even though you probably want to do it right away, leave it until the next day before returning their call.
They will be shocked when you explain that you were too busy to speak to them when they rang and this may turn the tables completely as far as who is pursuing who is concerned.
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